9 1/2 Weeks

Not quite the 9 1/2 weeks I remember or was hoping for.

So we’ve reached ‘hump day’ – 9 1/2 weeks into lockdown. Not quite the ‘hump day’ one would expect from 9 1/2 weeks but nevertheless we made it this far and there’s certainly some movement in the right direction. Things are looking up. 

With that in mind, I thought I’d make a list of 9 1/2 highlights so far this week. 

1. Ordering 6 bottles of wine (4 of which are Rosé – a sure sign that summer has arrived) before breakfast. Incredibly, Whispering Angel had already sold out and it was only 8am. 

2. The re-opening of schools albeit tentatively and with caution. This means that Teenager No. 2 will unhook himself from his Xbox, apply some deodorant and put on a smarter version of tracksuit bottoms before tapping me for lunch money.

3. An open air meet with a loved one from another household. At this stage far more appealing than a loved one at home. 

4. The gradual transition from leggings into shorts although still with an elasticated waistband. It may require some lifestyle coaching and coaxing as well as a lock on the fridge before I entertain any item of clothing with a grown up fastening. 

Lets not even think about feet: 9 1/2 weeks of either trainers, socks or flip flops my feet have remodelled themselves into a more rectangular shape. I think the shoebox would probably make for the most comfortable fit. They’ll be no strutting around in stilettos and Trilby – like Kim Basinger in that film, I’ll be keeping more than my hat on.

As for our Kim in that iconic food scene with the young Mickey Rourke. Some of the dishes created by ‘The Teenagers’ would certainly require at the very least a blindfold in order to consume followed by some Pepto Bismol. 

Catering size quantities of bolognese sauce washed down with party size bottles of Fanta. Cheese and Sriracha toasties with a side of Haribos. The mind boggles. You won’t find a bowl of cherries in the fridge more likely some Thatchers and last night’s curry. 

Ok, I digress…on to number 5. 

5. The near completion of 6 oil paintings and the beginning of a new collection. Long overdue, call it my ‘self development’. A positive from the negative. 

6. A return to ‘near normal’ by mid July. Define normal let alone near normal, I think that may be another blog but positive all the same. 

7. The arrival of the table legs for my new set of garden furniture which I ordered at the beginning of April. The company must have decided to stagger the delivery . First to arrive were 3 chairs and 1 cushion, next came another 3 chairs followed by 4 cushions and a table top. Concluding with an additional 10 day wait for the table legs.

8. The patio extension. From a casual voyeuristic point of view it has been highly entertaining. What started out as a straightforward add on to an already existing patio has now evolved into a large sunken ‘area’. Apparently, The Teenagers dug too deep. 

9. The late night chat has moved from power tools and DIY ‘triumphs’ to plans for the future. We’re in survival mode trying to predict how everything will land, formulating a game plan, looking ahead with determination. 

9 1/2. I wonder if there’s any jelly left in the fridge…..